You Are The Proof

People always say “if you can’t do it for yourself, do it for your children. “ I believe in that but God is teaching me in this season…if you can’t do it for yourself do it for those assigned to you. He has given you a message that only you can deliver. I know it gets difficult but if you don’t push through how will they see that there is a God? We can talk about Jesus all we want but some people need to see to believe. You are the proof ‼️

I’m coming up on one year of posting videos on TikTok and it has been quite the journey. From being an introvert to speaking on a platform that has billions of people. Who would have thought?! From not really knowing who I was outside of anger to slowly but surely finding the voice He has given me. From questioning if I actually heard His voice to seeing what He told me to say in news headlines! It’s been wild! Something i’d never imagine in a billion years and if I’m honest, still struggle to understand at times. If you would’ve told seventeen year old me that this would be my life, I would’ve looked at you and told you you’re lying because I didn’t plan to be here. Especially after dealing with narcissistic abuse never thinking it would end. BUT GOD! If you would’ve told seventeen year old me that my relationship with my mother would someday be healthy. It would’ve went in one ear out the other, because in my mind that could never happen. BUT GOD! If you would’ve told seventeen year old me that I’d be excited to become someone’s wife, I’d look at you and proudly tell you with attitude that would never happen because from a very young age I made a vow to myself that I’d never get married because I’ve only ever witnessed toxic relationships. BUT GOD! All of this to say push through YOU ARE THE PROOF THAT JESUS IS REAL ‼️🫶🏽

What kind of love?!

I (Spring take you (Poland to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part..

These are the vows she took 9 years ago in front of me and about 60 others. These were the words spoken as tears streamed down their faces and Most importantly these are the promises She promised to keep until their dying day. The thing is I’m not sure she truly meant them, let me explain. Hi I’m Summer, a 22 year old college student who lives with my parents. This wasn’t my plan but hey take what you can get right?? I’m going to school to be a therapist the thing is I’m not sure what kind I wanna be just yet. I’m stuck between a psychologist and a Dialectical behavior therapist, all I really know is I want to work with the mind. I love deep Conversations and now no matter What field I choose I’ll be able to dig even deeper by seeing why people act or think the way they do. Eeeep so exciting!! Ok ok back to my parents. When I was about 6 years old my mother met the man who would become her husband 12 years later, the man who loved not only her but her 3 kids as if we were his own. Me despite the anger outburst I’d periodically have because I was never taught how to properly deal with my emotions, my brother and sister. He loved her with every fiber of his being. Talk about daddy’s girl that was her until 2017 when she told the most heartbreaking lie possibly that anyone could ever tell. A lie that changed the trajectory of our family. It did both pull our family apart and brought us closer together. It’s kind of hard to explain but all I can say is God used this situation to reveal who is truly for their union and who is against it. You’d be surprise by the split. For example my grandma couldn’t stand him she was so Flip-floppy when it came to him. One day he was her favorite son-in-law the next he was the most disgusting man on earth. One day he was the best thing that ever happened to her daughter the next he was the worst. One day she loved that they were married the next … you get it. Me personally?? I would’ve dipped along time ago I’m talking way before this. It’s one thing to deal with your mother and sister not liking me, I could even deal with the occasional mean and really hurtful things I’ve said out of anger but it’s another to be accused of something I never did then by the child I had the closest bond to. When you saw him you saw my sister. They went everywhere together. They were so close that when my cousin passed away at the funeral she was laying on im crying and some other child wanted to do the same thing but my sister wasn’t having that because that’s her daddy NOT YOURS!! So for her to come up with a lie like the one she’s told is beyond me!! Grandma didn’t even believe it. The funny thing is I had just accepted christ into my heart February of that year… talk about trials and tribulations!!

Like most girls I want to get married someday. My favorite show is currently say yes to the dress ughhh I loveee that show. I can’t wait for the day my man whom I haven’t met yet finally pops the question. Best believe I mentally have Randy on speed dial and if for whatever reason he’s unavailable David Tutera is my back up. From 6 to 22 my parents have definitely stood the test of time. My dad?? He’s still, if not more in love with her then he was on the wedding day. My mom on the other hand?? Well, let’s just say she’s the one who makes me question What kind of love?!”

• What kind of love am I looking for??

• What kind of love Will my husband need?? and most importantly will I be willing to make simple compromises for his happiness??🤔 His happiness isn’t my responsibility I know but hear me out. What I mean by that is will I, as a woman who’s been single for so long and loves her personal space if I’m being honest be willing to let someone in?? When I say let someone in I’m not necessarily talking about my heart although that is important too because who doesn’t want to feel safe in their marriage?? But what I really mean is Will I be willing to have a not so organized frige even though I have OCD?? Will I be willing to give up A bath and body shopping spree for date night?? Will I be willing to give up being a homebody for a night out on the town to go sight seeing with bae?? These are the questions that if you ask me my mother didn’t ask herself before she said “I do. ” Here’s why I say that. As a mind therapist major, one of the classes we have to take is called “ kinesics” A. K. A (body language studies) in this class we learn everything from how to read facial expressions to how to know what a person is saying through simple hand gestures, it’s pretty cool! Because of this I’ve noticed she’s secretly not so secretly over him. she constantly nitpicks, hardly shows affection and complains about the dog she begged him to get but now hates taking care of. “I love sunny “

If I didn’t know the true purpose of marriage and how it’s supposed to Be a reflection of how Jesus loves us as his bride I promise you I would run as far away from it as possible. Because…WHAT. KIND. OF. LOVE?!

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Hello Men and women of God!It’s been a while I know! A lot has been going on. I lost my passion for writing for almost a year, I can’t even fully explain why or how it happened all I know is I hated it. I started to see it as a Chore rather than a gift that God has given me. But we’re back now!!! I’m so excited for this new journey I guess you can call it. Join me as I learn to love/ use my gifts. This blog will now be used specifically for creative writing, short stories etc. while my new one which I’ll link below will be used for teachings. I love you guys so much stay tuned for more stories!!

Stay connected:

Blog: https://diaryofachristiangirlbook.wordpress.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/writewithkik?s=21&t=KEJswhZQqykheudXQnA9PA

IG https://www.instagram.com/preddybrownskinnnn/

One Last Time

Imagine a man so in love with Jesus he doesn’t care about your insecurities, flaws or brokenness. Instead he loves the Hell out of you…LITERALLY. Sounds crazy right?? This is my story!! The story of how one man’s obedience lead me to our Father.

Hello Men and Women of God welcome to Jesus And Jordan (The Story Of The Prodigal Daughter) A series where I’ll be taking you on my personal Journey of how Jesus pursued me.

One thing about God…He keeps His promises. Last year as my heart for Him was shrinking because I wasn’t truly committed I asked Him to show Himself to me one last time. And He did. I prayed that if He was really real He’d send help but not just any kind of help, I needed someone who was serious about his walk with Christ, someone who truly loves Him 365 days a year not just for an hour on Sunday. I needed someone who wouldn’t let me have my way no matter how bad my attitude Got. I had been lukewarm for way too long and I was tired. I called myself a Christian but I was dead on the inside again. I thought I knew God but I knew religion. I thought I knew God but I knew American Christianity. I thought I knew God but I knew the role others wanted me to play, the role that said “If you love Jesus you’d support me in my sin.” The thing about trying to play this role though, is it drove me crazy. Some days I’d literally have anxiety attacks. My brain would randomly go into a state of anxiety where I couldn’t do anything but scream and cry for hours. I thought I knew God but it seemed as if the life I lived before accepting Him was better. If I knew God why was this happening to me? Why was the peace and joy I felt when I first got saved no longer with me? I needed answers and I needed them now. So I cried out asking Him to help me by sending A Man Of God. I had encountered enough religious and lukewarm people who claim to love Jesus to know that there had to be more. I had knew enough about Jesus to know that He called us out of the world so why are we as Christians, myself included acting just like them? Either He’d show up for me within the next 3 months or I was leaving for real this time and I wasn’t coming back because the devil would have me. 2 months later…I. Met. Jordan.

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Hey guys long time no write, right?? I know but I’ve been healing and I’m not talking about the self healing that many of us try to do but end up more Lost and broken then we were when we first started out. No, I’m talking about the healing where Jesus breaks you to make you. This has been quite the journey if I don’t say so myself and to be honest sharing it is the last thing I want to do but The Holy Spirit who now abides in me says to do so. So come join me as we relive the past year of my life. Many people often view God as this big, mean angry guy in the sky who is mad at them for whatever reason but believe me when I tell you that is a lie from the pit of hell!! He isn’t mad at you at all. In fact He’s madly in love with you. My hope is that as I share my story you, the reader would begin to see the true heart of Jesus. 🤗

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t layanything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to livefreely and lightly.

Matthew 11:28 MSG

If this is you and you’re ready to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior just repeat this prayer out loud.

“Dear Lord Jesus come into my heart, forgive me of my sins, I believe you are the son of God, you died for me and rose again, fill me with the Holy Spirit and set me free in Jesus name amen”

If you prayed that prayer let me know in the comments, I want to celebrate with you ‼️❤️

IG: https://www.instagram.com/ preddybrownskinnnn/

Is Jireh Truly Enough?

🎵Jireh, You are enough (so I will be)

I will be content in every circumstance

Jireh, You are enough🎵

If you’re a Christian I’m going to assume that you’ve heard these lyrics plenty of times by now. I’m also going to assume that at some point during the song you begin singing at the top of your lungs because your favorite part comes on and the vocals are truly amazing. No, that’s just me?? Ok…

Hello Men and Woman of God!!! I’m sure you read the title and if you’re anything like me, one of two things just happened. One you lowkey got offended because something in you is making you feel like I asked this question from a place of judgment. Two,your mind actually begin to wonder what exactly do I mean. Wherever you are when reading this, I want you to know that I myself have been in both positions so I am definitely the last person to be judging. However if you are in the first position it’s probably because you are currently Lukewarm. My prayer is that something I say in this post and in future ones Will encourage you to come out of that state because, I’m sure you see everything that’s happening in the world. We are in the last days. We cannot afford to be lukewarm in this time. Jesus is coming back soon and I don’t want any of us to be left behind. With that being said let’s get into today’s post.

Is Jireh truly enough?? This is a question I’ve found myself pondering on lately and to be honest I’m not really sure why. Maybe it’s because this is my first season as a true born-again believer, my first season of not being lukewarm. To say it’s hard will be an understatement, The amount of tears I’ve cried, we might as well compare it to a burst water pipe because bay bay these things just won’t stop!! My poor disciple, I know he’s sick of me at this point. Because it’s like girl what are you crying for now!!?? He says he doesn’t mind and he genuinely doesn’t but I be feeling so bad because I text this man about 500 questions a day or just cry to him. I appreciate him so much because he always tries his best to answer all of them. Never making me feel slow or ashamed because I don’t know or still May be struggling with something. It’s only been 4 months since i’ve been under his wing and I have grown so much but speaking to him, being able to pick his brain and even watching him from a far I can’t help but wonder…Is Jireh truly enough?? When trials and tribulations come is Jireh enough?? When standing for what’s right causes you to lose all of your friends and family is Jireh enough?? If you live in a house full of unbelievers that constantly mock and antagonize you is Jireh enough?? When the spiritual warfare reaches a level of intensity that Just seems so unbearable is Jireh enough?? When someone talks to you rude for absolutely no reason at all is Jireh truly enough?? These are all situations I face daily and when I tell you the struggle is real, it’s real!! Jesus warns us of this in

John 15:
“If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you. ( NLT)

But what happens when the very thing Jesus said would happen (Persecution) is finally at your door?? Will you conform to the pressures of this world, or will you have faith like Job??

If you have been following this blog for sometime now or maybe it’s your first time here And you have not yet accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior just say this prayer out loud

Dear Lord Jesus come into my heart, forgive me of my sins, I believe you are the son of God, you died for me and rose again, fill me with the Holy Spirit and set me free in Jesus name amen ”

If you need prayer or just someone to talk to feel free to message me on IG: https://www.instagram.com/preddybrownskinnnn/

Be Careful what You Watch As A NEW BELIEVER

Hello men and woman of God!!!! Today’s topic is something I normally wouldn’t speak on, it’s a topic that may ruffle some feathers and piss some people off but hey, I’m speaking from personal experience. And I feel led to share, in hopes it’ll help someone else.

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When I accepted Christ in 2017 the very first preacher I watched was Steven Furtick, if you don’t know who he is he is the leader of elevation church. This guy was young, hipped and most importantly he spoke my language meaning he spoke God’s word in such a way that was perfect way for me to understand. When he spoke I often felt attacked but I knew it was God himself revealing the things I needed to change. In 2018 around the time I fell into being lukewarm The Lord was calling me to go deeper in him which meant moving on from Steven. The issue was I knew no other pastors other than Joel Osteen and Joyce Myers. But I didn’t feel called to them. I tried Judah Smith but I don’t know …we just weren’t jelling. So I stayed with Steven but the more I stayed the more I drifted away. Feeling confused, not even a full year into this Christian lifestyle I began listening to way too many voices. The wrong voices might I add. The voices of my family members who are non-believers, telling me things like I can’t do this or that because I’m Christian, The voices of religious people condemning me pushing me away from Christ claiming it was out of love and they were trying to help. The voices of people online Who had just stumbled upon my Instagram feeling the need to comment on a life they know nothing about. Literally the post be about chicken and someone would say that’s not Christlike. 2019 I came across Pastor Michael Todd relationship goals and I knew from that day on he was the pastor I was supposed to be under but again I listened to every voice except God. I begin watching every video I could find on false teachers thinking I was educating myself when in reality I was doing the complete opposite. I even got so big headed that I watched an hour long documentary called “ American Gospel” this is a documentary that basically warns you who to stay away from. Now I’m not saying this documentary is completely wrong nor am I saying it’s completely right, what I am saying is that we as new believers have to make sure that before we watch something like this we are right with God. Meaning we know his voice for ourselves. If we don’t we can get caught up in so much turmoil and confusion for not only ourselves but others as well. After the movie I was on social media boldly and proudly telling people to not watch specific pastors with no idea where they are in their walk. Yes the Bible does tell us as believers to watch who we listen to but it also says “touch not my anointed. ”What this means is do not go around throwing dirt on someone’s name. He even says to pull that person to The side in secrecy and have a conversation of correction. It’s the end of 2021 and I’m happy to say I’m getting right with my Father!! It hasn’t been easy and I have a longgg road ahead of me but I’m finally learning his voice loud and clear for myself. You can too!! The way we do this is By praying and reading his word daily. When you pray ask for wisdom and a strong sense of discernment( understanding.) so you’re not easily deceived. Ask Him to send genuine people that are willing to grow and walk the walk with you every step of the way. I promise he will send them. You can literally be so specific and I promise he will send them. All in all, don’t get caught up in The whole false preacher thing when you just come to Christ. Focus solely on your relationship with him and overtime he will lead you to who or where he wants you to be.

If you have been following this blog for sometime now or maybe it’s your first time here And you have not yet accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior just say this prayer out loud

Dear Lord Jesus come into my heart, forgive me of my sins, I believe you are the son of God, you died for me and rose again, fill me with the Holy Spirit and set me free in Jesus name amen ”

If you need prayer just someone to talk to feel free to message me on IG: https://www.instagram.com/preddybrownskinnnn/

I’m In A Pickle

Hello men and women of God!! First let me start by saying I’m currently in a weird space of trying to come up with a name for our family. I don’t want it to just be real simple brother or sister in Christ type of thing, nothing wrong with that and if all else fails I’ll go with it but I’m looking for something that sticks and also has a nice call to it. So for the next few blogs you may or may not see different names in my intros sorry in advance if they’re weird.

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So, I’m sure by now you’ve read the title and hopefully you can see the Memoji I used because it really somes up how I feel in this current moment. Literally. You see, I’m kind of in a pickle and no I don’t mean the nice big juicy sweet ones that you can’t help going in the jar for every five minutes. I mean the sour, bitter ones that you can’t wait to get off your tongue. I won’t disclose the situation but I wish someone would have told me, oh how I wish someone would have told me how hard this Christian life would be. I mean Jesus himself does say it won’t be easy but Reading that I thought to myself “my life is already hard, how much harder can possibly get??” Well… Let me tell you this thing is Way past hard it’s difficult. Now let me be clear, In no way am I saying this to say run don’t give your life to Christ it has definitely been the best decision I’ve ever made but also the most challenging. As many of you know I accepted Christ in 2017. However I wasn’t fully living for him until late 2020. So in each blog I say I am a baby Christian because I literally am. It’s one thing to grow and mature it’s another to just grow in age which is what I was doing. Don’t get me wrong I did see some changes throughout that time but for the most part I was still doing whatever I wanted to do just slapping the Christian label on myself. What does that look like? It’s different for everyone depending on the thing you struggle with. For some it may be still having sex outside of marriage even though the Bible says not to. For others it may be thinking or feeling like cursing is OK even though the bible says let no unclean word come from your mouth. For me it was saying whatever I felt and constantly losing my temper. Yes anger is a struggle for me but up until recently I didn’t care to change it. I’ve tried things like walking away during an argument or just keeping my mouth shut altogether. While they did work somedays most days I didn’t even care. If you said or did anything and I blew up in my eyes you got exactly what you were asking for. You shouldn’t have been antagonizing me. Back in 2017 when I accepted him Life got hard but I automatically fell into lukewarmness so I knew nothing about real spiritual warfare. Now I’m in this strange space of trying to always walk in love and not come off as the “ Judgmental Christian” because I’m done watering down the gospel to not hurt peoples feelings but I also don’t want to be so direct it pushes people away from God. You know?? Sigh… if you have any advice on how I can navigate this season please comment down below.

If you have been following this blog for sometime now or maybe it’s your first time here And you have not yet accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior just say this prayer

Dear Lord Jesus come into my heart, forgive me of my sins, I believe you are the son of God, you died for me and rose again, fill me with the Holy Spirit and set me free in Jesus name”

If you need prayer someone to talk to feel free to message me on IG: https://www.instagram.com/preddybrownskinnnn/

If He’s Not At God’s Feet

If he’s not at God’s feet. IF HE’S NOT AT GOD’S FEET…I. Don’t. Want. Him!! While this statement can come off as arrogant or maybe even stuck up to some, before you start assuming in your mind I think I’m better than you let me explain. Since the beginning of my walk with Christ back in 2017 I knew I’d have to make some changes, not only in the way I carried myself as a woman but also in the type of men I was attracted to. You see before accepting Christ I was attracted to Fuckboys. For those of you who don’t know what those are let me be the first to tell you. Stay away sis and I mean far away!! These men, I mean boys, sorry are beyond toxic. Many often confuse them with Bad boys. But believe me when I say there’s a difference. I’ll do separate post Explaining the difference between the two but for now the best example I can think of is “ A Christian man” vs A Man Of God” and before you jump down my throat with comments like how dare you compare Christian men to the world hear me out.

So, as I was saying, when I accepted Christ I knew the F boy had to go. I knew the man I was looking for had to be Christian. I knew he had to love the Lord but what I didn’t understand was the difference between a man who says he loves the lord and a man that actually loves the lord, one who truly seeks Him for guidance, wisdom and instructions daily. I assumed if he said he was a Christian that automatically made him a Man of God. I didn’t understand that having a real relationship with God went way past knowing A few scriptures, singing worship songs and occasionally praying. I didn’t know that saying you’re a Christian was something you just said because it sounds good. This is not me judging anyone because for the first 3 years of my walk I accidentally fell into the deep whole of lukewarmness and couldn’t find my way out which caused me to backslide. So again, this isn’t me judging, I of all people know the struggle. But ladies be honest with yourself. When you think of the man you’re going to spend the rest of your life with what’s he like??

• Does he truly love the lord?? And when I say truly love I mean, does this man eat sleep and breathe The word Of God??

• Does he understand the importance of being in the world and listening to the Holy Spirit?

• Does he hold you accountable?? I’m not just talking about in certain areas. I mean in every single Area of your life does he hold you accountable?? When you have a disagreement with your mom does he say do you know what babe, I know your mom is the one who started the fight but I really think you should go apologize and hash things out.

• Does he pray with you instead of just for you??

• Does he love the Father more than he loves you??

• Is Jesus literally his whole entire life or just a part of it? To be more specific is Jesus his lifestyle or just a Sunday morning fling?? And most importantly is he at our Father’s feet??🤔 👀

If you have been following this blog for sometime now or maybe it’s your first time here And you have not yet accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior just say this prayer

Dear Lord Jesus come into my heart, forgive me of my sins, I believe you are the son of God, you died for me and rose again, fill me with the Holy Spirit and set me free in Jesus name”

If you need prayer or someone to talk to feel free to message me on IG: https://www.instagram.com/preddybrownskinnnn/

Twitter: @RollingWithKiki

New Series??

Hey Guys, so, I know I said I’ve been thinking about sharing devotionals I’ve read or may be currently reading with you every month but I’m still unsure to be honest. Not because I don’t feel like it but more so because I feel like Now I’m just looking for them just to post rather than read them to grow and understand God better. I’m going to continue posting this on since it actually helped me from start to finish but after that I may have to take a step back because I never wanna get to a place where I view the Word Of God as good content. Don’t get me wrong it definitely is good content, we as Christians are called to be unashamed and preach to all nations but the problem for me is when I don’t read it for myself because I lost my desire to seek him but yet I’m posting as if I’m on fire for him. It’s ok to go through those seasons where you drift away from God, we all have them but do whatever you have to do to get right back where you know you need to be. I saw a post that said “ You can be close to Jesus in your head but your heart is far.” While that is so true for a lot it won’t be for any of us over here. We are not perfect but we are kingdom children or kingdom children in the making. I can’t come here preaching one thing but doing another behind closed doors. So like I said I’ll be taking a break from posting devotionals but this doesn’t mean I won’t be posting at all.

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As some of you may know I’m a virgin and am saving myself for marriage, however this wasn’t my plan, dreams, hopes or wishes. I actually tried so hard to lose my virginity a few times but God kept me even when I didn’t care to live for him. I was so upset then but I’m so grateful now. Which brings me here to this new series idea. I don’t know what I’ll call it yet but I basically want take you guys on this journey of waiting and preparing for my husband. I’ll be sharing books I read, struggles I’ve had/have, advice if you need some and so much more. Even my thoughts on abortion and the dangers of sex before marriage. This series isn’t to condemn anyone it’s to encourage both men and women to live right for the Lord.

Follow me IG https://www.instagram.com/preddybrownskinnnn/

10 Steps For Dealing With Anger (Devotional Day 1)

I’ve always been amazed at the lengths to which people will go to hold on to their anger instead of releasing it, since the benefits of releasing our anger far outweigh any perceived “right” or “benefit” to keeping it locked up inside. But how can we begin the process of releasing our anger, leading to a more free and peaceful life?

Step 1 — Admit Your Anger to God

A woman once said to me, “I’ve been angry all my life. I never saw it as something I needed to confess, but one day I realized my anger was something God could heal. I knew the first step toward receiving any healing was to admit there was a problem. So I went to God and said, ‘I admit I’m angry. I’m not entirely sure why I’m angry, but I know I am. Please help me.”

Soon after this woman prayed, the Lord brought to her remembrance three separate and distinct painful experiences from her childhood. As she recalled each of them, she felt intense anger rising within her. She prayed: “Lord, help me release to You all the negative feelings and pain I have right now. Please cleanse my heart and mind of this memory so that I’ll never have a strong reaction to this horrible experience again.”

She mentioned that each time she prayed, she immediately burst into tears. She wept until she was sure there were no tears left. She felt a strong release, as if something deep within her was being dislodged and swept away with the flow of her tears. “The sense of release was tremendous; and in the aftermath, I felt so relieved,” she said.

“I asked the Lord to fill me with His peace and remind me of a happy memory to replace the negative one. I chose to recall the joyful experience in vivid detail, even to the point of laughter. As I did this, I felt the love of the Lord pouring into me. I shared my pain with God and allowed Him to cleanse me, renewing areas of my soul with His love and joy.”

I asked her, “Were you ever angry after that?”

“Yes,” she replied, “but not to the same degree of intensity. And it didn’t come from a place as deep in my soul. Any anger I felt after that was about other situations or circumstances. It was much more in the moment and didn’t involve people or experiences in my distant past.”

Then this woman made an amazing statement: “It was as if my anger had become a habit. I responded in anger because I didn’t know how else to react. I talked to a friend about this, and she gave me suggestions about how to respond to negative situations and problems without anger. Over time, I’ve felt less and less angry. It’s been 18 years since that spiritual healing, and it really takes something major for me to feel anger now.”

I believe it’s true for many people that an angry response has become habitual. If this is the case for you, I recommend you talk to God. Tell Him, “Father, I confess that I don’t know how to respond to emotional pain or rejection apart from anger. Show me a new way of handling life’s difficult situations. Lead me to the right information and help me to make the changes I need to make. I trust You to help me break this habit of anger once and for all.”

Starting A New Devotional!!

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How is it September already!? Time is truly flying by🥺. Next month I’ll really be 27😱that’s kind of crazy to me. It’s like ever since I turned 16 the years have literally flown past me. I’m not complaining it’s just like slow down the time a little Jesus…PLEASE!! Anyway I have nothing planned this month, hopefully I get back to writing I really need to get this book done. I just really don’t care to continue it. But it’s not up to me when souls are on the line. So, as much as I Really DONNOT want to finish I’ll crawl, scratch and cry my way to the finish line if that’s what it takes.

As far as the blog goes…I’m not sure yet but I think reading a devotional with you guys is something I want to do every month. It started as just content to post so I could stay consistent but it literally ended up something Way more than content or something I just wake up and read. I read devotionals before, all a struggle to finish because half way through they began feeling like a chore. I’m not gonna lie the very last day of the “ Sharing Your Faith” Devotional took me forever to get to and through. I would start then stop saying things like “I’ll read it tomorrow.” But when tomorrow came I’d do the same thing. However, even though I was struggling to read God didn’t allow me to drift away. For the first time ever I shared pieces of my testimony with at least 5 different people through casual conversations. Off social media. I’ve tried to do it before but always back pedaled because of confrontation. But I’ve been asking for boldness and when the Lord shows up, he’s shows out. Ain’t no telling when or where either. I was literally telling my testimony outside of my great grandmother’s funeral. Some may have thought I was dragging it (making stuff up) due to my physical appearance meaning my wheelchair but they listened. The Bible says “man looks on the outward appearance but God looks at the heart” so sometimes when telling your story you’ll be met with a lot of laughters, jokes about you and flat out unbelief but never let those things discourage you from sharing the goodness of the lord.

Thanks to everyone who joined in reading “ Sharing Your Faith” I sincerely hope you all have taken/will take something from it, I hope it unlocks a new level of your boldness for Christ. This month we’ll be starting a new Devotional called “10 Steps For Dealing With Anger.” In this series we will Join Dr. Charles Stanley as he gives us 10 steps for dealing with anger in the conclusion of his series on Anger. Stay tuned, this thing is sooo good and sooo powerful it almost had me in tears each day I read. The way Dr. Charles Stanley wrote this literally made me feel I like I was on a therapist’s couch. Unpacking my childhood getting to the root of my anger and why I actually struggle with it. Other than the fact that its a generational curse passed down through an ungodly soul tie, how did it get so out of hand. I’m not anger free, in fact I almost lost my temper last week. 🙄 Dr. Charles Stanley gives tips on what to do when in the heat of the moment which I’ll gladly be sharing throughout the month.

Remember each of our journeys are different don’t let anyone discourage you on yours!!! God can and will use people from all walks of life to help each other

IG https://www.instagram.com/preddybrownskinnnn/

Twitter: @RollingWithKiki

Check out my Pinterest for devotionals you may like https://www.pinterest.c

Sharing your faith devotional (Day 4)

Appeal to Intellect

One of the more difficult aspects of sharing our faith is when we know someone who won’t believe in God because they can’t see Him. In fact, many highly intelligent people struggle with putting their faith in something they can’t see. They’d rather trust in their own intellect and things they can actually place their confidence in. 

If you’ve read any part of the New Testament, then it’s likely you’ve read something that was written by the Apostle Paul. He was well-educated, highly intelligent, and even once persecuted people who believed in Jesus. The Bible doesn’t say this for certain, but with all of the credentials attributed to Paul, it’s likely that he was a know-it-all, arrogant Jew. But on one unlikely day as Paul was still threatening Christians with their lives, he was transformed.

As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?” “Who are you, Lord?” Saul asked. “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,” he replied. “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.” Acts 9:3-6 NIV

Paul went from oppressing and harassing Christians to encouraging and teaching them. For years he’d heard the truth about Jesus, but chose to reject Him because this didn’t line up with everything he’d learned in his life. But on this day, no amount of intellect could explain away his experience with Jesus on that dusty road.

This method of evangelism, where we appeal to someone’s intellect, won’t be for everyone, but it will be attractive to some. Maybe we just don’t feel we know enough to journey down this intellectual path. Even if that’s the case, there could still be a time when God places someone in our path who has an abundance of questions, and plenty of them are ones you don’t seem to have the answers to. 

Let’s spend some time learning new things about our amazing God, so that we’ll be prepared with answers to the questions that may be asked of us. We can also read books and learn about men and women who came to know Christ through a more intellectual way. Some people we come across won’t believe in anything until they understand it completely. And while we can’t change their hearts, we can be ready to share what we know and trust God to do the rest. 

We won’t know everything, but we can ask God for wisdom that He’s ready to give us. As we learn new things, God may use us to bring grace-filled truth to someone at a time when we least expect it.

Remember each of our journeys are different don’t let anyone discourage you on yours!!! God can and will use people from all walks of life to help each other

IG https://www.instagram.com/preddybrownskinnnn/

Twitter: @RollingWithKiki

Check out my Pinterest for devotionals you may like https://www.pinterest.com/Takiac94/

To The Man God Has For Me

Dear future husband:

I don’t know who you are, I don’t know if I follow you on social media or if I rolled right past you in public. Heck, I don’t even know if we live in the same city/state but I want to thank you. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for loving me and thank you for having eyes strong enough to see past my disability❤️. I can’t believe I’m writing this because I never wanted to be married but at the age of 24, two years after accepting Christ he placed the desire for marriage on my heart. So here I am 4 years later with a phone full of letters that I cannot wait to give to you on our wedding day. I want you to know that, that “ Happy Wife, Happy Life” CRAP has no place in our marriage whatsoever. It’s “Happy Spouse, Happy House” over here king!! I know what Society says but we ain’t like them so they won’t understand 🤷🏽‍♀️It’s a partnership. A best friend thing and most importantly a kingdom thing. I will spoil you just as much as you spoil me😍. Though this isn’t the first letter I’ve written to you, it is definitely the first and probably the last I’ll share publicly unless instructed otherwise. I’m choosing to share this one publicly because…well to be honest I’m not exactly sure. I mean it is my first one back and over a year so maybe that has something to do with it. Maybe you’re someone that will stumble upon my blog someday, hit follow and Wala our love story begins. Wishful thinking right?? I can’t promise to be a perfect wife but I promise to be a peaceful wife. I can’t promise to never loose my patience with you but I promise to be gentle with you. I can’t promise I’ll always want to talk to you but I promise to always talk to you. I can’t promise to always put you first but I promise to always put you second because God comes before everything. I promise to always pray for you, with you and over you, I promise to never ever go to sleep mad at you. I promise to never degrade or belittle you as a man. I promise to always honor and respect you. I promise I’m preparing for you❤️😍

Love Your Best Friend

American Christianity (Rant)

I’m a little annoyed today if I’m honest. Why?? Because, as I’m sitting here scrolling on Instagram, minding my business trying to Brainstorm for my next post. I come across not one but two videos of people talking about A rapper by the name of Lil Nas X. I’m pretty sure y’all know who he is by now but in case you don’t he wrote this song “old town Road.” Ring a bell?? I thought so. A few months after the song was rereleased this time obviously taking the world by storm, he announced to the world that he was gay. Then a few months later he said he wasn’t anymore. Then now that’s right, you guessed it, he is again…A few months ago he dropped his “ Satan shoes.” That’s literally the name of them.🙄 while this did irritate me, it wasn’t the icing on the cake. The icing on the cake for me was him doing a video literally dancing on the devil. His reasoning behind it was encountering mean Christians growing up. Telling him he’ll go to hell for being gay, using religion to push hate and not Christ to push love. As a new Christian myself, I want to do my best in making people feel loved but also not changing God’s word. I’m still learning as I go but this brings me to christianity in America. We are so watered down/ lukewarm here it’s ridiculous. We want everything to just be so Kumbaya that we’ll literally take anything. People in other countries are literally dying for their believes in christ, yet here we are in privileged America sitting back, eating grapes saying nothing. It’s ridiculous, isn’t America a Christian nation?? Why are we so comfortable with bold and blatant disrespect from Satan and his minions?? I mean seriously…how did we get here?? We’re at a point now where you don’t even have to go on a specific website to watch porn because it’s on your tv for free.🙄 They have drag queens in children cartoons. You even have Steve Harvey, One of the worlds biggest celebrities who claims to be a Christian telling people that Jesus is not the only way to heaven. What Bible are you reading sir?? Because the Holy Bible, the one you love to quote scripture from clearly states that the only way to heaven is through Jesus Christ. Does it not?? I mean seriously, how did we get here?? This isn’t a post bashing lgbt or Lil Nas X but a post simply asking where are the real Christians?? Jesus himself said if we are lukewarm he will spit us out. This is why I personally am doing everything I can to get it together. I don’t know about y’all, but when it gets hot here on earth I can’t take it. Imagine in hell where there’s no A.C. Fan, water or ice but there’s no way out??Y’all can play with eternity if you want but me?? I’m preaching the gospel exactly how it is.

Remember each of our journeys are different don’t let anyone discourage you on yours!!! God can and will use people from all walks of life to help each other

IG https://www.instagram.com/preddybrownskinnnn/

Twitter: @RollingWithKiki

Christian Tick-Tock

TikTok, tiktok, tiktok…sigh where do I began??

Ever since Tiktok emerged I’ve tried my hardest to stay away from it. Nothing against it, I just didn’t want another app on my phone, in my mind this is just like vine and would be dead pretty soon like almost all the other apps that were once popular. But about 2months ago still in full lockdown I decided to give in. I was board out of my mind and needed a good laugh. I’m not gonna lie, since joining I’ve really been enjoying myself. There are so many gifted people on there, from singing, dancing, laughing until my stomach hurts and even helping in strengthening my walk with Christ. Which brings me here.

Christian Tiktok

Although Tiktok is filled with lots of laughter and joy, it’s also filled with the same amount of deception when it comes to christianity. It’s heartbreaking if you ask me. You have people on the with hundreds/thousands of followers telling people things like Jesus himself told them to tell their followers that being Gay is not a sin. In no way am I homophobic but we all know Jesus said no such thing. What he does say is “Come as you are.” Meaning we as humans no matter if we’re gay, straight, drug addicts, liars, thief’s, murderers etc. can have a relationship with him if we desire to. He won’t deny his love for us just because of our sin. In fact he’ll do the exact opposite, he’ll love on us so hard that we have no choice but to change. Not because he’s forcing us to but because we actually want to. It’s like being in a relationship. Have you ever had someone love you so good that you literally want to do everything you can for them, even on the days they upset you?? That’s the kind of love Jesus has for us and it is honestly The most beautiful thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. Something I truly want everyone to experience one day. You have others telling people that Jesus isn’t God and the scariest one I’ve seen so far is a man who thinks he actually is Jesus.🥺 This man really sits there telling people he’s Jesus and if they don’t follow him they’ll die. He tells them if they deny him himself as the true and living God they’re dumb and they will burn in hell forever. The Bible warns us that things like this are going to happen before his actual return but…wow it’s scary. To see everything unfold right before your eyes is just. It’s like a movie except ITS NOT A MOVIE! I’m speaking out on this because, as a new believer myself I know how hard it is. You don’t know what to believe, who to trust or what do, it can be so discouraging at times but I encourage you to read the word yourself and not just listen to what people say. A good translation for beginners is CSB. It has modern day language. If you want more of a Kjv feel but don’t fully understand it yet try the amplified Version. People rave about N. I.V as well. I personally don’t use it because certain scriptures or taken out or tampered with. But pray and ask the lord what’s best for you. Eternal life is nothing to play with. Please don’t let this app deceive you.

Remember each of our journeys are different don’t let anyone discourage you on yours!!! God can and will use people from all walks of life to help each other🤝

IG https://www.instagram.com/preddybrownskinnnn/

Twitter: @RollingWithKiki

Be A Wife In Your Single Season

“For her price is far above rubies.”

Being single can be difficult at times, trust me I know. You’re talking to a girl who’s literally never been in a serious relationship. Situationship? Yes but a relationship where we go on dates, watch movies, fall asleep on the phone together? No, never. Sad right?? You know what’s even sadder?? I had my first kiss at 19 and hated it. Nothing bad happened, it just wasn’t with the right person and I knew it. But Yet and still I continued to put my lips on him every time we met up for the next 2 years. Searching and hoping for some kind of spark to find it’s way upon our lips but It never came. All that ever came were tears. Not from heartbreak but from frustration, anger and disrespect. Although I don’t like that I was in such a toxic situation I wouldn’t erase it even if I had the chance. It broke me so bad I had no other choice but to give my life to Christ. He has truly given me the strength, peace and healing I’ve been searching for my entire life. Because of him I now know my worth and the importance of walking in it. A few days ago I did a post called “ Good Men Do Exist” part 2 is coming soon but basically I talk about how Society says one thing but God says another. Today, I wanna talk about the importance of carrying yourself as a wife even while you’re single.

Be a wife in your singleness. This is something I’m personally working on now. Growing up I NEVER wanted to be married because I never seen a healthy example of a marriage but the closer I get to God, the more I actually want to be. I want my husband and i’s relationship to glorify Jesus in every way possible. I want our marriage to be the reason people we know give their lives to him. In order for this to happen there are things I must work on now, single so when he does come I’ll be ready to not only receive him but also love him the way he deserves.

Are You Wife Material?

Before you be so quick to answer yes, take a minute and really think about the question. When most women are asked this question we ten to list our accomplishments. We talk about

• How many degrees we have
• The job we have
• How much money we make
• The car we have
• How we can cook good ect. While these are all amazing things and should definitely be celebrated they don’t necessarily make you wife material. We can have all these things and be a Delilah. For those of you who don’t know. Delilah was a sweet weapon of destruction. The Philistine rulers employed her as a weapon to capture Samson. She is selfish. She is not there for love or the relationship. She is there for herself and what she stands to gain for herself in the relationship. She is an opportunist. Also, she is sometimes in the relationship to prove something to others. Almost everything she does has a selfish motive behind it. She has her own agenda and hardly sacrifices for the relationship. She is captivating, enchanting, exciting and charming. She is beautiful and lively. She has a sweet personality. She knows what a man wants and she knows how to make a man feel good. She is a difficult person to resist. You would love to have her around you always but she will play with your mind and heart. She likes playing games in a relationship. She can make you do things that are against your morals. She lies a lot. I think y’all get the point. Sis is just pure evil smh.

What I’ve learned when men ask this question…

Even before my desire to get married came about. I have always been interested in the male mindset. I find it so intriguing. While some women complain about how stupid men are and how they just don’t understand us. I sit here and think to myself is it that they don’t understand us, or we just don’t take the time to listen and have real conversations? I’m not sure why but I’ve always been The type of girl who wants a male perspective on things. So, whenever I can I ask a man or multiple men that I know a question. Such as what makes a woman wife material?? They’ll break it down for me explaining what we think they want to know vs what they’re actually asking.

• Can you pray for him when he can’t pray for himself?
• Are you COMPASSIONATE?
• Are you slow to anger when having a disagreement?
• Do you respect him?
• Can you love him unconditionally?
• Are you selfless? And most importantly will you be a
• Good mother to his children he plans to have in the future??

Women have such a long list of expectations/wants from a man but the question is…what will you, do you bring to the table??

Read: https://rollingwithkiki.wordpress.com/2021/07/01/good-men-do-exist/

IG https://www.instagram.com/preddybrownskinnnn/

Good Men Do Exist

So by now y’all obviously know that I’m a Christian and have been for quite some time now. What y’all don’t know is that this is actually my second year truly living for him because I backslid. I backslid for many reasons but the main one was my issue with men. I didn’t hate them. I just didn’t know how to love, appreciate or talk to them because of the relationships I’ve seen growing up and always being teased by them because of my disability. But the lord has really been revealing things to me over these past 5months or so and I just wanted to share a little.

GOOD MEN DO EXIST!! I know Society has told us otherwise but good men do you still exist!! Faithful men, loving, men exist. Masculine men, protective men, respectful men still exist. Gentlemen…still exist. Men that will fight for you, Men that pray over you/speak life into you when you don’t know how you’re gonna make it another day. Husbands are on the way and they’re FIIINE!!! So get ready. Us women truly need to uplift the men in our life in every way we can. Doesn’t matter if he’s your brother, father, cousin, uncle, husband or just a friend. Tell that man how much you love and appreciate him. Make him feel like “THE MAN ” at all times even when he makes mistakes. If you grew up similar to me this may be a bit difficult for you to do. Around age 12 I adopted a masculine mind set as a defense mechanism. I didn’t want to be a boy or anything but I felt I had to be tough like them. This would be my first time ever away from home because I had surgery. If I got teased here my family wouldn’t always be there to defend me and crying just wasn’t an option. I had to protect myself by any means necessary. The way I did this was with my words. You weren’t going to say whatever you wanted to me and get away with it. This went for everyone, I didn’t care who you were. Hearing sayings like “ men ain’t shit”, “all men cheat”, men are dogs and my absolute favorite “I DON’T NEED A MAN.” Didn’t help much either. Your reason for adopting masculinity may be slightly different but I’m pretty sure the root of it for all of us is the same. Pain. Pain can really cause self destruction if left unaddressed and unfortunately that’s what most of us are taught in the black Community. We are taught not to cry because crying means we’re weak. Most of us are talked at, not talked to. We shut down because we feel judged instead of heard. So much goes into it. But I have GOOD NEWS!!! It’s not too late to be healed. It’s not too late to have joy and peace and not too late to have the life you’ve possibly always dreamed of. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, healing isn’t easy but it’s definitely worth it. You may be saying to yourself I’ve tried to heal, nothing worked. I’ve been there. I literally thought porn would take away my pain but all it did was become an addiction and distort my view of men even more. I’m not trying to force my believes on you in any way but the only thing that truly helped was when I finally stopped trying to fix myself, by myself and gave it to Jesus. I’m porn addiction free for 2 years. I am filled with peace even on my sad days and I’m learning how to love me so that I can love my baby when he comes❤️

Remember each of our journeys are different don’t let anyone discourage you on yours!!! God can and will use people from all walks of life to help each other🤝

IG https://www.instagram.com/preddybrownskinnnn/

Twitter: @RollingWithKiki

You Are Called…Stop Running

“Sin doesn’t destroy your purpose it cages it

I don’t know who this is for but PLEASE, PLEASE PLEASE understand God has a purpose for all of us and it’s time we stop running. I know it can get really difficult being a Christian in this day in age especially as a young person. We get laughed at, talked about and mocked for choosing Christ. We get told we think we’re better than others, we get told we’re being judgmental when all we’re trying to do is tell them the truth out of love and we sometimes lose relationships we thought we’d have forever. All of these things can be painful, discouraging and lonely at times but don’t give up. I promise your purpose is worth it. I know a lot of the time our purpose isn’t what we had planned for our lives, in fact in the beginning it’s usually the total opposite. His plan is way better then ours. Its not always gonna make sense and they’ll definitely be times where you won’t want to do what he said. Maybe you don’t feel worthy enough, struggling with shame/guilt from past mistakes. Whatever it may be…God is looking for mental health not mental agreement.… your purpose isn’t always your preference. Are you truly ready to let go and let God have his way?? Or are there still things holding you back?? This post is for me just as much as it is for the person on the other side of this screen. As a young Christian both in age and in my walk with Christ there are times I want to revert back to the old me because it’s what I’m used to. It’s easier. It’s my safe place. Even when it wasn’t invited anger was always something I could fall back on to protect and defend myself at all times. How am I supposed to give up the only thing that’s never left my side. The truth is I don’t know. Anger will probably always be a struggle for me. Some things God takes away immediately, some over time and some never. Not because he doesn’t want to or because he doesn’t love us but he knows that if he granted our wish of taking away the thing causing us to fall on our face in prayer we wouldn’t need him anymore. He has to keep some issues in us so we always need him. Although he may never take my issue with anger away completely, he gives tools to control it. Will I fail some days?? Yes, as will you in whatever you struggle with but it’s ok!! He sees us trying and that’s all he’s asking for. He knows perfect is something we could never be. Just focus on your relationship with him and he’ll do the rest. Don’t worry about what you’re friends and family members will think about you. I know I know that’s easier said than done but we must remember we were set apart for a reason. We got this!!

Remember each of our journeys are different don’t let anyone discourage you on yours!!! God can and will use people from all walks of life to help each other🤝 

IG https://www.instagram.com/preddybrownskinnnn/

Twitter: @RollingWithKiki

God Is Answering My Prayers

“Even if this year is the same as last year I won’t be” Jackie Hill Perry

This was the opening to a caption Jackie wrote the beginning of the year. I don’t know why but when I read these words they just, I don’t know I can’t explain it, it’s like that was God’s message to me. A promise if you will. You see all of last year my prayer was to be bold like a woman by the name of Bevelyn Beatty in my faith. I’m nowhere near where she is but I’m not the lukewarm Christian I used to be year 1&2 of my walk. I used to be nervous to tell people I’m Christian because I don’t like confrontation but Christ wasn’t afraid to die for me on the cross!!! This year as made 4years and I plan to only get closer to my father. I was bold and outspoken in the world so why can’t I be that same way for Christ?? People’s opinions of me didn’t faze me then so why should they in Christ? The truth is I had the wrong understanding of what it means to be a Christian. I thought being Christian meant being quiet because if you weren’t you were being judgmental. I thought being quiet was the right way to love my neighbor. But the more I forced myself to be quiet the more I got ate up inside. I was so worried about misrepresenting him that I wasn’t representing him at all. Mans acceptance was unknowingly more wanted then Gods word. Bevelyn is teaching me to stand firm in what I believe and not care who doesn’t like it. This isn’t me thinking I’m better than anyone but I have a king to serve and if he says speak out I’m speaking out. A lot of Christians use their religion to be hateful but I will use my relationship with Jesus to win as many souls as possible. We have to meet people where they are not tear them down but also hold them accountable. With that being said I have a lot of content coming. Some more harsher than others but I promise all out of love ❤️ but I have to be honest and say it may not always feel that way. Be a Bevelyn Betty and always…

Remember each of our journeys are different don’t let anyone discourage you on yours!!! God can and will use people from all walks of life to help each other🤝

IG https://www.instagram.com/preddybrownskinnnn/

Twitter: @RollingWithKiki

Be The Bigger Person

I don’t know who needs to read this but …be the bigger person. I know no one is supporting your dreams right now but…be the bigger person. I know people gave up on you when you needed them the most but…be the bigger person. People have laughed at you, talked behind your back and kicked you over and over again while you were down but…be the bigger person. This is easier said than done, trust me I know. In fact this is something I currently struggle with. I’m constantly in a situation where I have to be the forgiver and to be honest I hate it. To be honest, there are some days I don’t give a crap what the Bible says. Some days I find myself telling God straight up I’ll take whatever punishment he gives me. Because I don’t always want to forgive, walk away or let something go. I want to argue back, be mean and hurtful. I want to laugh when they’re down and say something like “ that’s what you get.” I want to make them feel so small but two wrongs don’t make a right. Be there bigger person. If you’re anything like me then you’ve had thoughts like “ keep that same energy when I make it, they better not ask me for shit” Stop thinking that way. Also easier said then done. We are Children of Christ which means we are representatives of and for his kingdom. This doesn’t mean we are perfect but it does mean that we may have to go against our feelings sometimes even though we have every right to justify them. Nor does it mean we’ll never fail. But we must try our best to Operate from can you place of love. Jesus himself didn’t want to die on the cross but he did anyway. He had every right to get down and walk away. Or point fingers but he didn’t. He even knew that some of us would never love him back and still gave his life. So why can’t we do the same?? Why can’t we forgive no matter how wrong they may have done us? Why do we always need to hurt them 10x worse?? As hard as it is I’m learning the true meaning of “ Let go and let God.” Doing this is far from easy especially for someone with a temper but it’s sooo worth it. There’s no better revenge then when Jesus gets it for you. He tells people over and over again not to touch his babies because they’ll regret it. So my siblings, when we do make it wherever he wants us to be remember to be humble. Don’t fall into the trap of cockiness, bitterness, hatred and malice. Instead do the opposite. Rise above. Be genuinely happy, let go of your pride and let God be God!!

Remember each of our journeys are different don’t let anyone discourage you on yours!!! God can and will use people from all walks of life to help each other🤝 

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Invest In Yourself!!

Invest. When most people think of this word the first thing that often comes to mind is money. Want to be a homeowner some day? Invest in land. Want to be an entrepreneur? Invest in business and the most talked about is stocks. All of these things are good and I think we all should at some point in our life. But what if I told you that these aren’t the only things you should invest in. In fact I believe that before we invest in any of that, we should invest in something way more important and that is ourselves. You are worth so much more than material things. You are worth more than any car, house or business on this earth. Why? Because you my friend were created by God himself. When he created you he gave you your own gifts, dreams and purpose that only you can fulfill. Most of us had huge dreams for our lives as a child but somehow they died as we got older. It could’ve been because of your up bringing and the mindset you were taught to have , Society standards, your environment or the people around you. Be careful who you share your dreams with!! Not everyone wants to see you win. Some people will kill your dreams from the moment they hear about them including your very family. How do I know? Unfortunately this is something that has constantly happened to me as a child. Not just from my family but literally everyone around me. Everyone’s favorite question still to this day is. “ How? You’re in a wheelchair. ” Thanks for the reminder because even though I’m sitting right in front of you in it as you say that, I do have mornings that I forget. For years I allowed comments like these to affect me so much that I literally stopped dreaming. Even after giving my life to Christ. He would tell me to do things and I would always cancel myself out believing the lie of I’m not good enough. Until now. Unlike most people I’m actually grateful for this pandemic because it forced me to build my relationship with Jesus, to truly put my trust in him not on the things of this world. To find my identity in him and work on some of the issues and insecurities I have. It forced me to learn to love myself and not know that I’m pretty but believe it. This is an everyday journey but luckily I’m not alone. When I was 15 the lord blessed me by bringing my favorite person into my life. (I literally call him my favorite person) because he is. Lol. This man has impacted my life since day one. You see when he came into my life I was an angry, rebellious teenager who struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts. When everyone gave up on me he didn’t. When I gave up on myself he didn’t. When I fall he’s here to pick me back up. When I’m doubting myself he doesn’t allow me to stay there. He says I don’t but I know I annoy the hell out of him because ever since we reconnected I’m always in his DMs venting or asking questions. I promise it’s only because he gives AMAZING ADVICE. I mean the man should be a life coach, that’s how good he is. I’m not just saying that because I know him personally, I’m saying that because it’s true. Some of the things that I talk about on here are things that he’s personally walked wit me through or is still walking me through like today’s topic. Self love. As most of you know I grew up with a load of insecurities about myself because of my disability. I didn’t hate myself but I hated my life and had a deep dislike for myself if that makes sense?? His love for me reminds me of Jesus’s. Literally. I don’t understand it and definitely do not deserve it yet they give it so freely with no strings attached. The most they want is my love in return but even, on the days I may not be so good at it they love me anyway. And. I’m. Just. So. Thankful🥺

So, about self love. Obviously this is something I struggle or should I say struggled with. However, since he’s been back my self esteem has shot up tremendously. Especially within the past 2 months. My confidence is still a process but we’re taking it one day at a time. I wake up every day feeling beautiful even if my hair isn’t done. I’m nowhere near where I want to be in life but I’m starting to dress like I am. I’m not married yet but I set the table like I am. I didn’t want to be a blogger but I am and I think I’m doing pretty good for someone that’s literally learning as I go. The consistency could be better but I’m busy these days. The book has been getting all my attention lately because my favorite person knows about it and if he finds out I haven’t been writing I will not hear the end of it. Moral of the story, invest in you!! You don’t need Thousands of dollars to do this. Your self investment can be as simple as you reading one book every month, taking yourself on dates even if it’s in the house. Cook your favorite meal, put it on your good plate, you know the one you only take out for special occasions? With you good glass. Pour your favorite drink, whatever it may be and enjoy!! You want to be a dancer but don’t have the money to pay for dance lessons!! YouTube University. It’s the best school I’ve ever been to. I’m currently taking classes on learning how to play the keyboard and so far my professors are wonderful. I learned a song in my first week. I’m not joking. The bonus for me is if I don’t understand something I can always ask my favorite person who just so happens to play and he’ll help me. I’ll leave a video below so you can see him as well as his new song. (I hope it gets stuck in your head as much as it gets stuck in mine 🤪) But if you don’t have anyone that will help you that’s ok. Keep trying, don’t give up!! It doesn’t matter how many times you may have to stop, start, pause and rewind just keep going!! Yes it can become annoying and frustrating, you may even cry but in the end it’ll all be worth it. Start living the life you dream of now, even if you’re circumstances say otherwise. I believe the first step is changing your mindset. I believe if you can see it you can achieve it. You don’t need a bunch of people cheering you on. Sometimes you may have to walk alone for a season or two but pray and ask God for like minded people. He will send them. I don’t care whether it’s five people or one person. Learn to appreciate just being in their presence. Laugh, cry if you need to but most importantly grow together. One thing he always tells me is “Block out all negativity, don’t listen to The naysayers no matter who they are. Focus on loving yourself because self love is the best love.” This isn’t an overnight thing, it’s a journey. It’s like baby steps, you will fall sometimes but get back up.

PRESS PLAY 👇🏽👇🏽

Remember each of our journeys are different don’t let anyone discourage you on yours!!! God can and will use people from all walks of life to help each other🤝 

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